Politics Explained

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
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PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them
in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all of the
cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
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BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and
put them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. They are cared for by
ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government
took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and
eggs as the regulations say you need.
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FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take
care of them and sells you the milk.
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PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of
them, and you all share the milk.
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RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but
the government takes all the milk.
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CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them
and shoots you.
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DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
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PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
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REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to
tell you who gets the milk.
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BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you
can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk
them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk
down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the
missing cows.
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LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
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PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price
or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
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SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.
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(Original source unknown . . . this version expanded and Illuminated by SJ.)

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